Top 50 school jokes for kids, show how funny you are in your talks and impressing others in the classroom. Find these collections of funny school jokes and crack a joke even though your quota of jokes is finished. School jokes in English are helpful for teachers to raise students’ interest and mood from the monotonous ways.
Top School Jokes
“Teacher: Ramu, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Ramu: Me!
“Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Ramu: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair of the same at home.
“Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America.
Shamu: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?
Ramu: Shamu!
“Teacher: Ramu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Ramu: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
“Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree but also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
Ramu: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”
“Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Ramu: Don’t bite any.
“Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would
I be showing?
Ramu: Brotherly love.
“Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
“Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Ramu: A teacher
“Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirty?
Ramu: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
“Teacher: Ramu, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
Ramu: You told me to do it without using tables!
“Teacher: Why are you late?
Ramu: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Ramu: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
“Teacher: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
Ramu: “Sir, my Mother, and Father got married on the same day same time.”
“Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Ramu: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.
“Ramu: “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”
Shamu: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”.
“Teacher: “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”
Ramu: “The moon”.
Teacher: “Why?”
Ramu: “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”
“Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with ” I “.
Ramu: I is…
Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, “I am.”
Ramu: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
“Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Ramu: “HIJKLMNO”!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Ramu: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
“Teacher: “Ramu, you talk a lot !”
Ramu: “It’s a family tradition”.
Teacher: “What do you mean?”
Ramu: “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”.
Teacher: “What about your mother?”
Ramu: “She’s a woman”.
“Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Ramu: Your name on this report card.
“What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints
“Why are bananas good at gymnastics… They do great banana splits!
“Why won’t the elephant use the computer?….He’s afraid of the mouse!
“What do you call a sleeping cow?… a bulldozer!
“What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?….Patty
“What did the square say to the old circle?… Been around long?
“What kind of hats do they where at the North Pole?….IceCaps
“What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?…. I scream (ice cream)
What is a cat’s favorite dessert?….Pie a la meow’d!!!
“Why is music like a fish?…. they both have scales!
“What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?…. a walkie-talkie
“What happens when you wear a snowsuit inside?…… It melts!
“Did you hear about the dog at the flea circus? …He stole the show!
“What does an envelope say when you lick it?… Nothing. It just shuts up.
“How can you tell the ocean is friendly?… It waves!
“Which are the stronger days of the week?… Saturday and Sunday. The rest are on weekdays.
“Which runs faster, hot or cold?…Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
“What did the flower say to the bike?… Petal!
“Did people laugh when the lady fell on the ice?…No, but the ice cracked up.
“Knock knockout?… Who is there?, Daisy…Daisy who?…Daisy plays, nights he sleeps!
“How do athletes stay cool during a game?… They sit near the fans!
“What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?…You’re too little to smoke!
“What did the stamp say to the envelope?…Stick with me we’ll go places!
“What do you call a cow with no legs?…Ground beef.
“How do you make a tissue dance?…Put a little boogey in it!
“What did the water say to the boat?…Nothing, it just waved.
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other?…They don’t have the guts.
“Did you hear about the kidnapping?… Probably not, he is still sleeping.
“How do small children travel?…In mini-vans
“What has hands but does not clap….A clock!
“How do you make an egg roll?….You push it.
“What did the math book tell a pencil?….I have a lot of problems.
“How do billboards talk?….Sign language!
“What kind of chain is edible?….A food chain!
“How do hens stay fit?….The “egg-ercise”
“What kind of cat likes water?….an octopuss!
“What did the bunny say on January 1st?….Hoppy new year!
“What do a chicken and a band have in common?….They both have drum sticks!
“Why did the tomato turn red?….It saw the salad dressing!
“What did the grape do when it got stepped on?….It let out a little wine!
“Where did the spaghetti go to dance?….The Meat Ball!
“When is a door like a bottle?….When the door is ajar.
“What is the best thing to put into a pie?….A fork!
“What does a pig put on a cut?….Oinkment
“What do the call of people afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic
“What did the father buffalo say to his son?….Bye son (bison)
“What is a pilot’s favorite type of donut?….A plain (plane) donut!
“Why is it so hot in a football stadium after a game?….All the fans have left!
“Why is a lost Dalmatian easily found?….Because he is always spotted!
“Did you hear the joke about the cookie?….It is crummy.
